Infant Massage and Emotional Security: Building Attachment through Touch

Touch, our first sense.

Touch is the first sense to develop in utero, around 8 weeks. It is the most developed at birth. Newborns and infants use the sense of touch more often than hearing, sight or smell to learn about the physical world and to develop close relationships. From birth, your baby needs to be touched often.

Touch is the main way of communication for infants. Your baby can sense how you feel through your touch. It is also proven that the more you touch your baby the more you will be sensitive to their needs and you will respond with ease.

Over time, you may find it easier to:

• Feed your baby on demand
• Respond to your baby’s cries as soon as possible
• Follow your baby’s sleep and wake schedule
• Support the baby’s feelings when she is overwhelmed, hurt, etc

Attachment starts in the first days of life.

Attachment is the relationship that you and your baby build over time beginning during pregnancy. Bowlby, the founder of the attachment theory, emphasizes that a secure attachment is created by nurturing touch and responding to the baby’s cues.

An infant is unable to look after themselves, so they need consistent care, attention and contact from their caregivers. When you respond with sensitivity to your baby’s needs, they will cry less, creating more positive interactions with you.

According to McClure, key elements helping form the bond between parents and infants include:

• Eye contact and engagement (talking, gaze-shifting, singing)
• Skin contact and temperature regulation
• Vocalization and the baby’s response to the parent
• Maternal and paternal hormones by contact with the baby and immune benefits

When babies have a secure attachment bond, they develop confidence and self-esteem. Their emotional security will enable them to develop healthy communication and relationships, and overall wellbeing.

Qualities that you may take for granted in adult relationships - such as empathy, understanding, love, and the ability to be responsive to others - are first learned in infancy (McClure).

What you can do to keep in touch with your baby.

Anyone who cares for your baby can build a bond through touch with your infant. This might include your baby’s grandparents and caregivers. If your baby is comfortable with different people you might get a much needed break for work or daily tasks.

Here are some ways you can touch your baby and bond with them.

• Skin-to-skin
• Holding your baby in your arms
• Cuddling
• Hugging
• Kissing
• Breastfeeding or keeping your baby close to you when feeding them
• Baby carrier
• Playing touch games (Round and round the garden, count toes,…)
• Infant massage

Infant massage as a special and loving way of touching your baby

Infant massage allows you to intentionally touch your baby with love, empathy and respect while looking at your baby’s cues. Tuning into the language of your baby through infant massage, even a minute a day, helps promote communication and bonding between you and your baby.

Infant massage helps you pay attention to your infant’s engagement and disengagement cues. It is more about communicating with your baby and relaxing together than mastering strokes. When massaging, observe if your baby needs a break or wants to be held. You are encouraged to find time each day to massage your baby, improving communication and physical contact between you and your infant.

In the first 3 months, your baby may only accept a few minutes of massage. Overtime, they may accept longer massages, relax faster, and even ask for them! As your baby grows, you can keep massaging them on a regular basis.

Massaging your baby this way will strengthen your bond and help them feel more secure and happy!

Baby massage has long been practiced in many Asian and African cultures. In Western cultures however infant massage has been lost over time. Today, it is making a comeback, helping strengthen the parent-infant relationship.

Book:

Infant Massage: A Handbook for Loving Parents By Vimala McClure

Articles:

Effects of infant massage on infant attachment security in a randomized controlled trial By Vonda Jump Norman and Lori A. Roggman in Infant Behavior and Development 78 (2025) 102004.

The Effects of Baby Massage on Attachment between Mother and their Infants by Ayşe Gürol PhD, RN and Sevinç Polat PhD, RN in Asian Nursing Research Volume 6, Issue 1, March 2012, Pages 35-41.

Defining Attachment and Bonding: Overlaps, Differences and Implications for Music Therapy Clinical Practice and Research in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) By Mark Ettenberger, Łucia Bieleninik, Sjulamit Epstein, Cochavit Elefant in International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health 2021 Feb 10;18(4):1733

Website:

Raising Children. https://raisingchildren.net.au/newborns/connecting-communicating/bonding/bonding-newborns