Joy and grief at the same time: why both are true
A short class from the Gaux library — credentialed teaching, ten minutes you can use tonight.
What this class is
Holding joy and grief in the same body, at the same time, is one of the most disorienting parts of new parenthood. This class is about why both are true at once, and why that does not mean something is wrong with you.
Gaux built this because the cultural script forces a choice — you are either happy or struggling, grateful or grieving — and the actual experience is both, on the same day, sometimes in the same hour. The class makes the simultaneity visible and gives you language for it.
It is taught by a credentialed Gaux professional and is meant to be re-watched when the pattern resurfaces. Most parents in matrescence find it does, in waves.
What you get
- A focused unit of credentialed professional content for the Gaux care bench.
- Designed for working professionals — clinical depth, no fluff.
- Watch on your own time; the full PD track opens with membership.
What you’ll learn
- Why joy and grief can coexist in parenthood without canceling each other out.
- Why the cultural pressure to feel one feeling at a time creates more distress than the feelings themselves.
- How to talk to a partner, friend, or family member about both feelings without one being heard as a complaint.
- How to tell the difference between this normal coexistence and a clinical concern.
- Why gratitude does not require suppressing grief, and how forced gratitude usually backfires.
- How this duality often softens as your identity restabilizes over time.
- When the pattern is signaling that you would benefit from therapy or a Gaux professional.
Who it’s for
Anyone in the early years of parenthood who has felt joy and grief in the same week and not known what to do with it. Also useful for partners and support people who want to stop trying to talk a parent out of one feeling or the other.
Inside this chapter
Other lessons in Becoming a parent without losing yourself — included with membership.
- 01Matrescence: the word for what's happening
- 02The identity death and rebirth — and why it's not postpartum depression
- 03Your brain on parenthood: the real neuroscience
- 04Grieving who you were without losing who you are
- 05Joy and grief at the same time: why both are true · you’re here
- 06Who Am I Once I Become a Mom?
- 07Why You’re Already Doing Enough: Reframing Parenthood Through Science
- 08Why You’re Already Doing Enough: Reframing Parenthood Through Science
Common questions
Is this a sign of postpartum depression?
Not by itself. The class draws the line and gives you a way to check in with yourself.
Why does the grief still show up when nothing is wrong?
Because nothing being wrong is not the same as nothing having changed. The class explains the difference.
Should I tell my partner I feel this way?
Yes, and the class includes language so the conversation lands well.
How long does this go on?
It usually shifts in intensity over the first few years of parenthood. The class describes the typical arc.